The Science of Being Happy
I’m a science-enthusiast. I like facts and evidence because extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and this is more relevant than ever with social media offering everyone the opportunity to share an opinion (very often about things they know nothing about).
The problem is that opinions influence, but opinions are not facts.
In the first episode of my brand new podcast series human, my co-host Matt Boyles and I, as we explore what it means to be human, discuss the topic of happiness and its importance and relevance to our species.
Despite their differences, pride, shame and guilt all activate similar parts of your brain (including, if we can for a moment get specific and “sciency”, the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, amygdala and insula).
Interestingly though, pride is the most powerful of these emotions at triggering activity in these brain regions, which explains why we often wallow in guilt and shame: our brain is actually being self-rewarded for it.
If you’re a worrier and spend time worrying about existing problems or potential problems, that’s because your brain is rewarded for that, too: it feels, to you at least, as though you’re at least doing something about your problems. Inside the brain, worrying helps to calm your limbic system by increasing activity in the medial prefrontal cortex, and decreasing activity in the amygdala. What does that mean for us in the real world? Well, neuroscientists say that when faced with guilt, or shame or anxious worrying, we should ask ourselves one simple question: “What am I grateful for?” – because gratitude boosts levels of dopamine and in turn serotonin, two of our feel-good neurotransmitters.
By considering what we are grateful for, it forces us to concentrate on the more positive aspects of our life and helps shift our focus from the worrying and negativity. We can literally retrain our brain. However, interestingly it’s not necessarily the finding things to be grateful for that matters.
If you can’t find any, that’s okay because it’s the searching for them and contemplation that affects our brain most by increasing neural density: our neurons become more efficient. Now, if you wake up feeling awful, that’s also okay. Well, it’s not, but it isn’t as much of a problem as you might think. If after a confrontation you’re left feeling less than positive, try to describe that feeling and give it a name - literally own the emotion you’re experiencing: are you sad? Anxious? Tired? Let down?
By putting feelings into words, we become more consciously aware of how we feel, which in turn reduces the impact that the emotions have on our emotional amygdala reactivity. That’s why it is possible to literally flip the switch on what we are thinking. Just so long as you don’t suppress emotions – that can backfire, and pretty badly, too.
You might seem positive and happy on the outside but negative emotions inwardly affect us, specifically our limbic system. So powerful is this concept (which has been understood for centuries), that it is used by hostage negotiators because labelling emotions helps to put them into context.
Making decisions can also help to make us happier because it reduces worry and anxiety, engaging the prefrontal cortex in a positive way. It really is brain-deep. Decision making helps to overcome striatum activity, which usually pulls us towards a negative impulse and routine. Decisions which are simply “good enough” at the time are absolutely fine – it’s still a decision after all! Being a perfectionist can be stressful and brain studies demonstrate this, too: it overwhelms our brain with emotions and ultimately leaves us feeling less in control, leading to a bizarrely ironic result. When we make a decision, our brains feel that we have control and that feeling of control in turn reduces stress by increasing rewarding dopamine activity.
A classic study involved two rats: both were given cocaine but one had to pull a lever first in order to receive it; the other one didn’t have to do anything. The rat who had to pull the lever got a bigger boost of dopamine because when we make a decision and then achieve something as a result of that decision, we feel better. Which is exactly why going to the gym, or doing something that you feel you have to do or should do, is just so difficult. It’s not a willing, voluntary decision and so our brains don’t get the pleasure boost from achieving the activity.
Choice is a hugely important factor in managing stress.
An immediate way to boost happiness is by touching people. Now, please continue reading before we all get ‘grabby’. Physical contact releases oxytocin and while it’s not always appropriate to touch people, as I frequently remind my window cleaner, small touches like handshakes and pats on the back; hugs or even a hand on a shoulder or forearm, can make you feel more persuasive and increase team performance, too.
Research shows us that long hugs are especially effective because they release oxytocin, which reduces the reactivity of the amygdala but you might want to be selective about who you handout the long hugs to... Admittedly I’m a long hugger but I let people know so when we get to that awkward “little bit too long” moment, we’re all aware and in the same boat. I think.
1:1 Coaching for your journey.
Wednesday August 28th 2024.
I have two spaces available in my coaching diary and applications are now open. If you’re looking for help getting from where you are to where you want to be, or navigating your personal or professional journey, read on.
By 2023 I had been coaching for 10 years, and advised individuals from almost all the Fortune 100 companies.
There’s a fine line between arrogance and knowing what you’re good at. I'm pretty good at coaching.
Some of my coaching clients have been with me for 10 years. I've been certified by coaching federations, worked with groups of leaders at board level, individuals, small business owners, the VP of Philips, entire leadership teams, and people entirely lost on their life path.
I bring 21 years experience working in human behaviour, invited by global brands to help resolve challenges but with a personal no B.S. approach - I don't know anyone else in the coaching space with my unique proven skill set. In terms of life journeys, l've been there and done it. I have the metaphorical T-shirt and battle scars.
I love my role as a coach, advising other humans on how to understand where they want to be, and how to get there. And I am now opening up two more spaces in my diary. Applications are now open - email jez@thatjezrose.com with any questions you may have and to discuss what you’re looking for.
10 Key Strategies for Making Your NEXT Business Conference a Resounding Success.
Business conferences are more than just gatherings of professionals; they're dynamic platforms for networking, learning, and collaboration.
They can also be, at worst, expensive disasters.
Whether you're organizing a small-scale industry event or a large-scale international conference - and over the last 21 years I’ve worked at both and everything in-between - the success of your endeavour hinges on careful planning and execution.
Here are ten essential strategies based on my experience as a keynote speaker and global conference emcee to ensure your business conference is a resounding success:
1. Define Clear Objectives.
Before diving into the logistics, clearly define the purpose and objectives of your conference. Are you aiming to facilitate networking, share industry insights, showcase products, or foster partnerships? Understanding your goals will guide every aspect of planning and execution.
All too often in calls with clients when I ask what the point is for those people attending, I hear: “that’s a very good question; I don’t think we’ve really thought about that”.
2. Know Your Audience.
Tailor your conference content and activities to suit the needs and interests of your target audience. Conduct surveys, interviews, or research to gain insights into attendees' preferences, challenges, and expectations. Customize the agenda to ensure it resonates with participants and provides value.
My top tip on agendas is to never share them with delegates. Controversial I know, but if delegates know what is coming it gives them opportunity to pay attention or actively disengage.
3. Choose the Right Venue.
Select a venue that aligns with the tone and scale of your conference. Consider factors such as location, accessibility, capacity, amenities, and technological capabilities. A conducive environment enhances attendee experience and sets the stage for meaningful interactions.
It is naieve to assume that a conference venue can competently accommodate your needs so be clear about your expectations and don’t be shy about dictating exactly what you need, such as specific layouts for lunch to maximise efficiency.
4. Curate Compelling Content.
Craft a diverse and engaging program that combines keynote speeches, panel discussions, workshops, and interactive sessions. Invite industry experts, thought leaders, and innovators to share their insights and expertise. Incorporate relevant topics, emerging trends, and practical takeaways to keep attendees informed and inspired.
Sounds obvious, but over the past 21 years I’ve witnessed many agenda items that are forced, or have little to no relevance to the conference theme or delegate interest. No two keynote presentations I deliver are the same for this reason.
5. Leverage Technology.
Embrace technology to streamline registration, communication, and engagement before, during, and after the conference.
Utilize event management software, mobile apps, and social media platforms to facilitate seamless interactions, schedule updates, and networking opportunities. - you can find many examples free and at low cost online to source yourself. Leverage live streaming and virtual components to reach a broader audience and enhance accessibility and help unite global teams in the content and energy of the conference.
Virtual elements were hugely popular during Covid-19 restrictions for obvious reasons, but enquiries for me to host and present at online conferences and meetings still remains high in 2024 owing to environmental, financial and logistical considerations.
6. Foster Networking Opportunities.
Facilitate networking opportunities to encourage meaningful connections and collaborations among attendees. Arrange icebreaker activities, fun networking sessions, and social events to create conducive environments for interaction.
I frequently hear from delegates that the primary reason they attend conferences is for networking. Provide designated spaces for one-on-one meetings, group discussions, and informal networking to maximize engagement.
7. Ensure Seamless Logistics.
Pay meticulous attention to logistics to ensure a smooth and hassle-free experience for attendees. Coordinate transportation, accommodation, catering, signage, audiovisual equipment, and other essentials with precision. Anticipate potential challenges and have contingency plans in place to address them swiftly.
This is where a competent production company really comes into their own and is worth the investment.
8. Promote Effectively.
Implement a comprehensive marketing strategy to generate buzz and attract attendees to your conference. I love making videos for clients to excite delegates about my session or the wider conference offerings - it’s a fantastic way to bring that unique conference energy out of the meeting room.
Utilize multiple channels, including email marketing, social media promotion, content marketing, and partnerships with industry influencers or media outlets. Create compelling content, such as teaser videos, blog posts, and testimonials, to highlight the value proposition of your event. It doesn’t have to be professionally produced, just engaging.
9. Solicit Feedback.
Gather feedback from attendees, sponsors, speakers, and vendors to evaluate the success of your conference but ask the right questions. Keep it short and make responding easy to really maximise useful engagement.
Use surveys, polls, and post-event evaluations to gather insights into attendee satisfaction, areas for improvement, and suggestions for future events (this one is so important). Analyze the data collected and iterate on your approach to continually enhance the attendee experience.
10. Cultivate Long-Term Relationships.
View your conference as a catalyst for building long-term relationships and fostering community within your industry. Follow up with attendees, speakers, and sponsors to express appreciation and nurture connections beyond the event. Maintain engagement through year-round initiatives, such as webinars, workshops, newsletters, and social media engagement, to sustain momentum and relevance.
In conclusion, the success of any business conference hinges on meticulous planning, thoughtful execution, and a focus on attendee experience.
By defining clear objectives, understanding your audience, curating compelling content, leveraging technology, fostering networking opportunities, ensuring seamless logistics, promoting effectively, soliciting feedback, and cultivating long-term relationships, you can create a conference that leaves a lasting impact on attendees and stakeholders alike.
Interested in learning more about keynote presentations and hosting for your next conference? Click here!
The 3 Questions
I've almost finished writing my latest book.
This one is about leadership, and as part of my research I asked successful global leaders 3 simple questions.
In this bonus video from my Leadership Accelerator Masterclass, the director turned the tables and asked me to answer the 3 questions - it's not as easy as it looks!
What makes a successful leader?
Here are my answers:
Strength
Yesterday I was speaking at a conference in Milton Keynes in England for an automotive client; as I type this I'm at London's Heathrow Airport having just had a meeting with a client in financial services; later today I'll be in Copenhagen, and tomorrow I'l be in Sweden with a pharmaceutical client.
All of those clients - in fact, all of my clients - have one thing in common with you.
They largely look at fixing the things they're not especially good at.
Weaknesses, or "development opportunities" as some refer to them as. Let's be honest with ourselves: they're weaknesses, and it's okay for them to be so. We need to get better at using language properly, but that's for another time perhaps.
We like to fix things; to improve, and to be good at what we set out to do, which is perfectly understandable, and commendable.
No one likes the idea of being lesser, or weak, so we become obsessed with feedback and going over the past. What went wrong? Who was to blame? What do we need to do differently next time? What should we avoid doing? How do are stop that from happening again?
The problem with this approach is it keeps us firmly in the past. We're looking behind at things that have been and gone.
We spend too much time assessing our failures, and not nearly enough time looking at the reasons for our successes. What are we doing well? Why? How can we do it even better? How do we move the needle more?
It is psychologically beneficial for us to continue moving forwards; aiming to get better: to support positive mental health and motivation we all need to feel as though we're reaching for something and progressing.
So, perhaps consider what it might look like if we focused more on what we do really well; spending more time in the positive aspects of our behaviours and mindset, with time dedicated to further enhancing our strengths. People often ask me what defines "high performance", and how to achieve it - along with 6 other key attributes, this is one of the foundation behaviours of all high performing teams: acknowledge we all have strengths, and lean into those as far as you can, then surround yourselves with others who have strengths in areas you are less strong.
Now that's a high performing team.
PS. If you've not enrolled onto, or at least signed up for the risk-free 7 day trial for the Leadership Accelerator Masterclass, be sure to do so soon - the launch offer saving you £2,100 on what is being described by users as "the number 1 leadership course" ends 31st January.
Language
A few weeks ago I was invited back to speak for a second time at the annual conference for the Association of Independent Hearing Healthcare Professionals.
One of the favourite parts of my job is meeting the delegates, and following my presentation I was discussing with a delegate the importance of language in relation to behaviour change when he told me something wonderful: the Greek meanings for love.
Meanings. Plural.
In Greek, there are four words for love, and more than being beautiful and intellectually perfect, it offers a great example of how important it is to select the right words:
1. PHILIA: This word describes the type of love found in strong friendships. In relationships with philia, affection and support abounds, as well as a sense of equality.
2. EROS: This word describes the type of love found in romantic relationships (think “erotic”). Relationships with eros contain passion and intimacy. The best phrase in English to equal eros is “being in love,” and it’s probably the first type of love that comes to mind when you think of your spouse.
3. STORGE: This word describes the type of love found in family relationships. Storge involves empathy and affection, as well as compassion.
4. AGAPE: This type of love is, perhaps, the most important in any marriage. It describes selfless, unconditional love. Some describe it as God-like or Christ-like love.
When working with clients on culture strategy or change management, I encourage the maxim: Dignity, Love, Respect.
Dignity for ourselves and each other.
Love for what we do, for ourselves, and for each other.
Respect for ourselves and each other.
I encourage this practice across leadership teams, and for everyone to be mindful of how they might apply it each day.
In 90% of circumstances clients will respond with: “We really like that! I think we’ll change love though.”
They worry about encouraging people to ‘love’. I’m still unsure exactly why. As the Greeks know so much better, and have articulated brilliantly: the way you love your favourite pen, is a different love you have for your partner - hopefully. Your love of nature is different again to how you love your child or pet.
The phrases “I love you”, and “I hate you” have the same number of words; the same amount of letters, and the same Scrabble score (14 if you’re interested). Yet, an entirely different emotional resonance.
The language we use - and choose - matters.
Stream
Hello dear reader - welcome to my Wednesday Weekly.
While being interviewed recently for an article for the New York Times I was asked to share something people wouldn't know about me.
I've done a lot of interviews, written several books, and said so many things on television and at live events that I couldn't at first think of what that thing might be. I settled on the fact that I was Buddhist for about 6 years.
The reporter asked me to share some insights, and understandably had lots of questions about why I wasn't anymore, and what I'd learned during that time.
I shared this story, as something that I often share with businesses when they need to hear it - it's an old story about two monks.
The monks are walking alongside a stream and see a woman in a silk dress, sobbing.
One of the monks asks her what is wrong, and the woman explains that she needs to cross the stream, but the beautiful silk dress she is wearing was made by her Mother, and that if she crosses, she will ruin it.
The other monk explains their predicament: unfortunately they are unable to help her for their order strictly forbids the touching of women. However, the monk comforting the woman decides he should break the rules, gently picks the woman up and carries her across the stream. Full of gratitude and joy, the woman thanks the monk, as he wades back across the stream.
The other monk is furious. For the entire walk back to the monastery he chastises his fellow for breaking the rules, calling him a bad monk, and repeatedly shaming him for his actions.
At the monastery they both retire to bed, as the wet monk dries out and drifts off to sleep.
In the middle of the night, however, he is woken by the still angry monk, still upset and annoyed about how bad his fellow monk is.
"But why?", says the helpful monk.
"Because you carried that woman!", the angry monk explains.
"What woman?", asks the weary monk.
The other monk is exasperated: "WHAT?! The woman you carried across the stream!"
"Oh, her", the woken monk replies. "I only carried her across the stream - you carried her all the way back to the monastery."
Sometimes we give far too much attention to the things that bother us, but are the only one carrying them. I often advise people that if it's taking your energy, or distracting, and isn't getting you further forward, or helping, then it's not worth carrying.
Be conscious and brutal.
Leave it at the stream.
Happy Wednesday,
Jez
PS. I was interviewed a few weeks ago by the lovely Megan at Champions PLC about high performance and the benefits of challenging the status quo. You can watch it here.
Gratitude
Hello - welcome to Wednesday Weekly, which just so happens to fall on St. Valentine's Day, and here I am with a message about gratitude.
Life for me is pretty chaotic right now: I'm moving house (top tip: don't. Just don't. Love where you live and save yourself the angst); arranging for some possessions to be shipped to the US, moving temporarily into an AirBnB, and arranging to move to America.
It's one of the moments where you've been conscious of things building for a while, and then suddenly, overwhelmingly, find yourself in the epicentre of a maelstrom of chaos.
I'm always reminded of the comforting saying: "this too shall pass".
However, I've always felt it had two quite different interpretations.
On the one hand, it's reassuring to be reminded that things will blow over - they will literally pass. We are only ever in a moment. As my late Grandmother used to say: "tomorrow is another day".
There is though a more serious meaning to "this too shall pass", and that's one of recognition of the finite characteristic of the moment.
Everything will end. One way or another, nothing lives for everything: our love changes; our bodies change; our opinions, intelligence, style, ideas: nothing stays the same.
For whatever you can think of: "this too shall pass".
So, yes, take comfort that the troubling, problematic or otherwise uncomfortable moments in life will be over - I remember Joan Collins once saying to me "today's news is tomorrow's chip paper" in a nod to how fish and chips used to be wrapped and served in day-old newspapers.
But also use it to guide us. To appreciate every moment and what we can do with it: how can this moment be lived better; used better; or lead to something greater?
Psychologists call this a "pattern interrupt": something that effectively presses pause momentarily on your subconscious actions and thinking and helps make you reassess.
Given that we should all be grateful we woke up this morning, in this very moment of reflection and pause, what might you do next, perhaps more consciously, that will improve things at home or at work, which you might not otherwise have done?
Happy Wednesday,
Jez
PS. On the subject of gratitude, can I say a wholehearted, sincere thank you to the overwhelming response about my first in a series of new online learning and development masterclasses, the Leadership Accelerator Masterclass. So much useful feedback and patience with annoying link problems etc! You can sign up to a free, no risk, no credit card needed trial here and take a look at what I believe the future of learning should look like.
Jez included in Microsoft’s Top 10 Sought-after Business Speakers
In the world of business conferences and corporate meetings, there exists a universal acknowledgement in the value of inviting a keynote speaker that can motivate and inspire conference delegates.
However, in conference circles, that’s just the very tip of the iceburg.
There exists in some speakers a unique mix of ingredients; a maelstrom of experience, knowledge, captivating story-telling, and proven results that not only inspires and motivates conference audiences, but helps ensure long-lasting results for the people present at the meeting, and for the company long-after the conference is over.
Today, among industry luminaries such as Anthony Robbins, Magic Johnson, Barbara Corcoran, and Marshall Goldsmith (who also positively endorsed Jez’s #1 bestselling book Flip the Switch), Jez Rose is included in Microsoft’s list of the top 10 sought-after business speakers in North America.
“They are the go-to voices for top organizations and events seeking to ignite passion, drive, and success.”
Many of Jez’s clients have international offices, and his recommendations internationally often come from within organisations he has existing relationships with, but around 40% of his referrals are to external client partners when individuals move jobs, or simply share with industry colleagues.
Jez was delighted with the news of being featured in a top 10 list among such significant speakers:
“In my 21st anniversary year it’s mind-blowing to be included in the Top 10 Sought After Business Speakers in North America alongside such greats. So much gratitude to all my clients, and fellow production and speaker bureaus.”
Visit thatjezrose.com to discover Jez’s keynote presentations, workshops and wider range of behaviour services and how he can help you at your next event.
Worth: The world’s most expensive pencil
In this week’s Wednesday Weekly I wrote about the world’s most expensive pencil, coming in at en eye-watering $12,800.
Made by Graf von Faber-Castell, it’s pretty to look at, but is it worth it? I’ve actually had one of their pens from the same range before (much less expensive I might add), and I wasn’t that keen.
~
Hello dear reader - welcome to my Wednesday Weekly.
I've come to the conclusion that everyone has a favourite pen.
It may not be a specific instrument; it could be a generic biro, or any "chunky" pen, or perhaps you're specifically a lover of a rollerball.
Personally, I prefer writing in pencil.
In fact, I own one very nice pen I use for writing letters (I reject technology wherever I can), and have boxes of pencils. I used to buy quite expensive pencils; my favourite being a brand called Yard-O-Led made in England and then one day, while writing with a $200 pencil, it suddenly struck me that the HB graphite inside it was the same as a standard, common-old wooden pencil that costs less than 20 English pence.
I felt a sudden sense of conflict with my Buddhist lifestyle I'd led for so long that taught me many things including value, and necessity, and worth.
What did I need a $200 pencil for?
I immediately switched, selling my pencil collection and donating the money to a charity I work with, replacing it with Dixon Ticonderoga (the same pencil Roald Dahl used to write our favourite childhood stories).
If you're still reeling over my pencil purchase extravagance, may I turn your attention to the world's most expensive pencil, which costs $12,800.
So actually mine were a real bargain.
What something is worth, is often what people are willing to pay for it, such as with art or rare and collectable items. However, that maxim has limits.
Today while talking with a client, he brought up a conversation we had a few weeks ago: "Something you said really got under my skin, in a positive way", he explained. "I commented on your lovely study and said you must be doing well for yourself, and you said to me 'I know my worth' and ever since I've wondered whether I really know my own worth."
We discussed how to find your worth and why it is so important, and I thanked Anthony for bringing it up because I think it will make a fantastic chapter in my new book.
Our worth is not simply the highest amount someone will pay for us, and if you hold out for the highest bidder you may well be bitterly disappointed. Our worth is found in legacy, and justified by the impact we make, and the results we get. What someone is worth is not directly about the cash, but primarily about how they can help.
There's an old reflective question that goes something like this:
"If you didn't turn up to work for a month, would the organisation cope and move on, or would your absence cause significant problems?". It's an idea that must be taken with a pinch of salt, not because it isn't important, but because some aren't in positions where they are able to make significant differences.
However, it's a useful point to begin reflection with: What is your worth? What difference do you make? What impact can you make?
Happy Wednesday,
Jez
PS. I am delighted to be featured in Microsoft's "Top 10 Sought-After Business Speakers in North America" alongside some remarkable names. Click here to take a look.