Language
A few weeks ago I was invited back to speak for a second time at the annual conference for the Association of Independent Hearing Healthcare Professionals.
One of the favourite parts of my job is meeting the delegates, and following my presentation I was discussing with a delegate the importance of language in relation to behaviour change when he told me something wonderful: the Greek meanings for love.
Meanings. Plural.
In Greek, there are four words for love, and more than being beautiful and intellectually perfect, it offers a great example of how important it is to select the right words:
1. PHILIA: This word describes the type of love found in strong friendships. In relationships with philia, affection and support abounds, as well as a sense of equality.
2. EROS: This word describes the type of love found in romantic relationships (think “erotic”). Relationships with eros contain passion and intimacy. The best phrase in English to equal eros is “being in love,” and it’s probably the first type of love that comes to mind when you think of your spouse.
3. STORGE: This word describes the type of love found in family relationships. Storge involves empathy and affection, as well as compassion.
4. AGAPE: This type of love is, perhaps, the most important in any marriage. It describes selfless, unconditional love. Some describe it as God-like or Christ-like love.
When working with clients on culture strategy or change management, I encourage the maxim: Dignity, Love, Respect.
Dignity for ourselves and each other.
Love for what we do, for ourselves, and for each other.
Respect for ourselves and each other.
I encourage this practice across leadership teams, and for everyone to be mindful of how they might apply it each day.
In 90% of circumstances clients will respond with: “We really like that! I think we’ll change love though.”
They worry about encouraging people to ‘love’. I’m still unsure exactly why. As the Greeks know so much better, and have articulated brilliantly: the way you love your favourite pen, is a different love you have for your partner - hopefully. Your love of nature is different again to how you love your child or pet.
The phrases “I love you”, and “I hate you” have the same number of words; the same amount of letters, and the same Scrabble score (14 if you’re interested). Yet, an entirely different emotional resonance.
The language we use - and choose - matters.
