FALLING OUT WITH THE NEIGHBORS.
I’ve had worse views at work. Regularly in fact. Taken while delivering a 2 day workshop on the island of Mauritius for Constance Hotels & Resorts.
He's not my neighbour per-se (I'm using both spellings to keep everyone on both sides of the Atlantic happy). He was my realtor but has become a friend.
Michael came over today to see what I'd done to the house since moving in 2 months ago and we sat and drank English breakfast tea and chatted.
And then the conversation took a turn.
As conversation topics go, politics can be pretty divisive, and understandably, so can racism. I really like Michael but I'm sat typing this reflecting on our conversation feeling really quite taken aback.
I avoid all opinionated discussions regardless of topic, but I keep an especially wide berth of political discussions. In England we’ve just seen a new political party voted in, and in the US they will vote in November for who will become the country’s President. As I now live between both England and America, I’m hearing a lot of political talk.
An observation I made early on is that Americans want to know who you vote for; they want to know where you stand. Are you with us, or them? It’s very divisive. But Michael didn’t ask me.
As our conversation continued through a mix of subjects that would look like we picked randomly from a Trivial Pursuit box, we touched on racism, homophobia, guns, falling from ladders, societal norms, legislation, the Supreme Court, tearing shoulder muscles, the Constitution, global travel, meeting the then Prince Charles, breaking fast with strangers in the middle east - it was utterly bizarre looking back on it - I think I came to know where his political preferences were.
The topics were diverse, sure, but Michael’s responses were surprising.
He’s immediately trustworthy and gentle - peaceful almost. Surrounded by people with strong opinions, Michael and I managed to navigate a conversation that would have lit up a table like a box of fireworks doused in lighter fluid at a 4th July celebration, with nothing but compassion.
Sure, there were times when neither of us could entirely understand. But quite surprisingly given the topics tabled, we didn’t fall out like I thought we may. Why?
We both showed compassion.
No guns were drawn. No regrettable moments happened. No loud voices, nor harsh words spoken.
Two human beings sat at a table discussing some of the most flammable topics that could be discussed.
We don’t need to understand people, nor do we need to agree with the choices they make, but we can always show compassion. As I said to Michael, the nonsense of racism is this: if I were to sit out in the sun for too long without any sun screen (as I did do once when I fell asleep on a sun lounger after especially heady sangria in Madeira - one of the last times I drank), my skin would be a different colour. Bright red in the case of my example. Am I suddenly to be excluded, looked upon differently, derided, simply because my skin is a different colour even though as a person I am not changed?
We are too quick to judge.
We are too quick to say what we want to say in place of listening.
We are not nearly compassionate enough.
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