RENUNCIATION.

Hello dear reader - welcome to this week's Wednesday Weekly.

There's a message here this week for you personally, but also an important one for work. Stick with me as I share something personal; I promise it'll all come together and be relevant for you.

For many years I followed a Buddhist path.

In recent years I strayed from it, quite unintentionally, because I got distracted by life. Life can be like that: all the noise, agendas, social media, marketing, people shouting for our attention and expertly tailored ways to capture and subconsciously manipulate our attention. We really do have to be very conscious and aware of our values and ourselves in order to not get sucked in by it all.

I stopped actively practising the things that are important to me and which kept me grounded. And so I found myself at a place in life when I realised I was way away from what made me happy and felt true to me.

I knew something wasn't right because I became aware of a change in my behaviour, and behaviour changes are great markers for us to to note that something has changed in us because all behaviour is caused by a stimulus. 

While walking my dog Woody this week, a neighbour showed me a new coat she bought - you know the puffy Moncler one that everyone seems to be wearing? She has many, many coats and I asked her why she bought this one. "They're in; everyone's got one" came her reply. I couldn't help think how unfortunate it is to be in a place where you need to buy a coat so you feel accepted by others. If we can do the work to fully accept and love ourselves, we could save a lot of money, and there hollow cycle of external validation.

However, until recently, I too had started buying things that I didn't really need, and other than a good suit, I tend to live a fairly simple lifestyle very aware of whether I need something. One of the core principles of Buddhism is "you are enough" and while we are experts at justifying things to ourselves, it's useful to determine whether we "need" or "want" something. If we want it, it's often (not always) a red flag. 

What are we masking? What void or core unmet need are we trying to fulfil?

On my recent journey to reconnect with Buddhism I discovered just how much my work as a behaviourist links so directly to my practice, and how my work in each area has informed the other. I was talking to a monk yesterday about my journey and the conversation turned to how many of my clients add in order to resolve challenges or problems, but actually the answer often lies in removing, and making things simpler. The monk said:

"When we become a monk or a nun and we enter into a spiritual commitment, we are learning to let go of something, learning to put a stop to our habits, a stop to our desire. So when we shave our heads and commit ourselves to this life, it is also a sign of determination that I am ready to cut off all my friction, cut off all my desire and learn to live deeply in the present moment and be free from it."

Perhaps that's why I was so attracted to shaving my head so much to raise money for MacMillan Cancer! (if you missed that you can watch it here).

Irrespective of faith or spiritual paths, renunciation (letting go of ideas and things) is something that can free us of anxiety, stress, and things that block us or hold us back, but that can help us see what we really matters.

If you've ever cleared out your office, had a New Year or Spring tidy up and decluttered, that is in effect renunciation: we are clearing our lives of things we don't want or need. You might have had a similar experience if you've ever divorced unamicably!

For us as individuals, or as a team, some questions to consider:

What undesirable habits that don't benefit us or those around us could we mindfully renunciate?

What physical things we don't need could we renunciate, and get closer to fixing the real reason why we have them? 

What behaviour patterns could we renunciate so as to enable positive, alternative ways of working?

I wish you great connection with yourself.

Happy Wednesday,

Jez

PS. I've uploaded a short video showing how I help clients worldwide to move the needle on their own behaviours. Take a look here.